Try
by C-Entury
Summary: She was saving the world ...and was destroying herself. (Complete)This story will be revised.


Obviously I don't own anything.

Open to suggestions, comments, and criticism. Leave your email address with your review and I'll personally reply!

All I know

Is everything is not as it's sold  
but the more I grow the less I know  
And I have lived so many lives  
Though I'm not old  
And the more I see, the less I grow  
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

She sat by her window, closing her eyes, relishing the rare moment of peace. Her beautiful face at rest. She felt the sun on her skin, on her delicate eyelids and cheeks. Her golden mane cascading down her back, a most silken and smooth cape for the Soldier of Love and Justice. But now, she was just Serena.

She found a quiet haven of peace within her heart, from all the troubles of life. An oasis of tranquility in the turbulent sands of the desert of Reality. Once, she had tried to cling onto the ways of childhood, cheerful, clumsy.

Her friends had affectionately reprimanded her. _Had. _The fear, the doubt came rushing in. Before she became the leader of the Sailor Senshi. Then, her mistakes on the battlefield were deadly. _I can't do anything._

Then I see you standing there  
Wanting more from me  
And all I can do is try  
Then I see you standing there  
Wanting more from me   
And all I can do is try

And then there was Tuxedo Kamen. A.K.A. Darien Chiba. Her worst enemy. Then her truest love. But lately, had she not seen the disapproval in his eyes? A slight confusion – he wanted a princess, he got her instead. He didn't want Serena, ordinary, deadly mistake-making girl? When he once had a princess- beautiful, wonderful, smart, graceful, noble princess- he now had her. A terrible Scout. A terrible person. She wasn't worthy of him. _ Not me._

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness  
And all the real people are really not real at all  
The more I learn the more I learn

The more I cry the more I cry  
As I say goodbye to the way of life  
I thought I had designed for me

The blood, the pain. Serena's beautiful face, contorted by the internal ache. She clutched her heart. After scouting, she knew what the world was like. Polluted by evil beings. She couldn't do it all...She wasn't a fighter like dear Lita, Sailor Jupiter. She hadn't the fiery temper of wonderful Raye, Sailor Mars. Tears began falling. Not a genius like sweet Amy, Sailor Mercury. And definitely hadn't the leadership of strong Mina, Sailor Venus.

_I can't do it all..._

Then I see you standing there  
Wanting more from me  
And all I can do is try  
Then I see you standing there  
I'm all I'll ever be   
But all I can do is try  
Try

She ran out of her room.

It started to feel suffocating. The picture, mementos, of the life lost. _I always lose. _

She cried her heart out in the park where so many memories reigned.

_Too many memories._

She ran out of there.

She ran past Darien's apartment. _Not worthy._

It all felt so wrong. She wasn't a princess anymore. That was a past life. She'll never be a leader. That will never be in the future. _I can't._

She finally collapsed in the woods in back of the Temple. Where the memories started swarming around her. The ghosts. She cried out, she cried until she could not cry anymore. Then she steeled her soul.

She trained harder than ever. Studied. Avoided Darien, avoided the Scouts. Made no more mistakes. It was all in her hands. _I can finally do something. _But something was always missing. Like a huge chunk of her heart became a sealed chamber from her. Locked and she could not find the key.

She was saving the world and destroying herself.

The Scouts were dead worried. Luna and Artemis were convinced that she was possessed. And Darien felt his heart breaking. His light, his angel, it appeared that she left him. And he could not embrace a half-life again. All he wanted to embrace was his angel. _Sere, come back to me._ He tried to call her with the link. No answer.

Serena felt a tugging at her heart. Darien! _Maybe this was all misunderstanding?_ But when she tried to understand his message, she could not. That part of her heart was locked.

_No. This is wrong. Turn it all around._ Her heart whispered.

She didn't know anything anymore.

She ended up in the woods again.

And somehow, Darien came to her.

"Sere!" his voice was...concerned?

"Darien..."

He dropped down besides her. He held out a hand but she pushed it away.

"Why, Serena? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're worrying the Scouts."

"I don't want to be a worry!" she nearly screamed. _Wasn't this what she had done this all for?_

"Sere, they love you. I love you. Why are you destroying the love?" he asked tenderly. He didn't want to go back to the cold life he had led. He made to leave, but a soft voice called to him.

Heart had finally won over agony.

All of the moments that already passed

We'll try to go back and make them last  
All of the things we want each other to be  
We never will be  
We never will be

And that's wonderful, and that's life  
And that's you, baby  
This is me, baby  
And we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are   
Free  
In our love  
We are free in our love

"Serena?" He sat again.

"I love you too." She grasped his hand. Hers was cold. "I didn't feel worthy...of anything." She started rambling, how could the Scouts love her, she was a mistake, he could not possibly want her. Darien gathered her in his arms, and kissed her. How he missed her touch!

"Darien..." she mumbled. She melted into his embrace.

"We all love you Serena," said the Scouts, appearing from the trees. The entire team of Scouts were there. _All her friends loved her._

_She saved the world and the people she loved and who loved her saved her._


End file.
